am i insane if my dreams are?

i have had the kookiest dreams lately, but what i remember about mine last night:

a. I was smoking a carrot like a cigar, like Bugs Bunny, only it was on fire.

b. i was at a lake with ducks, someone cut all of the ducks feet off, so people were giving ducks fake feet that were sort of like rubber boots shaped like duck feet that the ducks just stepped into with the stems of their cut off feet.

What the hell does this mean???

the laziest blogger ever. that's me.

I have really let my blog sit stupid for a while. So I have some thoughts about things, and I am contemplating some work issues. Not necessarily with my job, but my thoughts about my skills.

First. I will come out and say it. I HATE the crap I designed for Live in the Crossroads this year. It turned in to this regal mess. It's not my style. It's cluttered, weak concept, mashed together, no negative space or place for the eye to rest, the elements are competing, the color is off, and the pictures I had to work with were lame and not high res.

And somehow all of this escaped. and the end result was Whatever.

So, I feel its too late to do anything but ride this out and learn or try to figure out what I can do before next year's concerts if I can make it that long.

Second. I am feeling a little bit hacky. Like everything I do lacks this finished quality. Like things I do are maybe a little lame-brained. I don't know if its because I lack a certain knowledge, but I suspect it does have something to do with the type of work I do. I feel the need to be around other designers, to work with other designers. I feel like the quality expected from me, is a little below the real standard that I want to be set to. Anyways, I feel like I don't get to design enough.

On these two notes, I have been reading some articles on aiga.org about being an in-house designer. So far, all I am getting out of reading them is saying 'Yup. That's me. Yup. I hear that.' but I haven't been inspired with an idea to change my attitude yet. Here are a few quotes.

"In my consulting experience I know this for a fact. No matter why they call seeking help, the word “respect” always seems to creep into the conversation. In-house designers continually express concern about why their opinions are not valued, why they are given very little time to get work done, why the plum jobs get sent to outside boutique shops and why there seems to be little appreciation for what they do."

On the downside of being an 'innie'

"2. You have to report to a person who doesnt know much about design - you have to let your work be judges by someone who knows less about your subject than you do."

Enough of that. I plan to take a step back on my 5 whole days off, enjoy the weather, and come back feeling a little more refreshed with a clear idea of where I need to go over the next year.  

I think I am also feeling a little down, because I found out this morning, that indeed, I HAVE TO WORK WITH COMIC SANS!!!!! It is my worst nightmare.

Ok, so I stumbled across a few things that I found kinda cool. 

http://www.kansascouture.com/

Hey look! People in Kansas with personal style. This inspires me to get our closet/style business going, but seriously it seems like so much work!

http://WWW.HEIMSTONE.COM

This is a totally awesome website. Love it. 

And thats about it. 

birfday

they sell this at urban outfitters....

yet another use for balsa wood and paperclips

not since graphics 2 have a found a good use for this combo! worked out pretty good. now if only i would have used rub on helvetica for the identifiers!

what i want for my birfday

http://www.spacenk.com/product/shop+by+brand/lipstick+queen/makeup/medieval.do
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/ctd/1154158630.html
http://www.jewelryexpert.com/catalog/graphics/Antique-Diamond-Ring-1.gif
http://www.unlimitedperfumes.com/product_info.php?products_id=813&r=56

i havent blogged in so long

but i dont have anything to say other than i like this rain.

OMG Forever Knight is on Hulu!!!

christmas list continued

givenchy hot couture. getting low :(

i should be cleaning so a certain someone wont get all grumpy...

but i am in no mood to be a housewife right now. I have nothing to say at all. nope. huh.

Billy Corgan is going to smash my fingers with his size 13 feet

The show i just saw fucking rocked. Period. I really enjoyed speed kills and eye. The sound could have been louder but my hears still ring a little so thats a good thing. We only come out at night was cool. I like the kazoos. 

The only lame part was all of these schleps sitting down during bug chinks of the show. Like we were at Yo Yo Ma or something. It makes me think maybe my generation is lazy or something, or maybe most people my age have popped out 4 or 5 brats already and just cant rock out anymore. I dunno. wierd.